how to know what to do next
(when you just don’t know what to do)
This question comes up allllll the time in my 1:1 sessions.
Clients come, and they wonder, ‘how should I spend my energy and gifts?’ ‘Where should I be investing and pouring my energy?’ ‘What’s the next right thing for me to pursue?!’ “What should I be doing NEXT!?”
I get it.
You feel so full of potential, of creative energy, and you’re eager to pour it into something meaningful. To pour your heart and soul into something that you’re proud of, that feels like a piece of you.
But time and time again, we wonder… what is that thing??!?!
Well, friend, I would ask you what feels inevitable and a little scary?
Part 1: What feels inevitable?
Definition of Inevitable: sure to occur, happen, or come
When you tap into your sense of “inevitability,” it means you’ve found a core seed of creation within you. It’s a part of who you are, art or expression of some kind that needs to come through you.
These core creation seeds indicate you’re on a path of a deeper sense of fulfillment, that ever-elusive sense of “this is what I’m here to do.”
It’s oftentimes a secret dream or dream.
The best part is that there is no one inevitable path. We are dimensional creative beings with MANY different inevitable paths, but oftentimes one dream, one core thread speaks louder than the rest.
So for the sake of this exercise, I’m going to ask you to pick the one inevitable path that feels the most exciting, the most interesting, the one closest to you
Identifying a dream that feels inevitable points to a deep-rooted passion within you, something that likely won’t be swayed with time or when obstacles come up. And let's face it — with anything worth having, there will be obstacles and fears that come you that you will have to overcome.
It’s important to tap into this sense of deep passion because this energy will also be the force that helps move past the obstacles and discomfort that come with putting yourself out there and trying something new.
For me, I’ve always had nudges of helping women directly. Sometimes, this dream turned into wanting to be a doctor, a nutritionist, a therapist, or a yoga teacher. The core seed of my inevitable path was to help women 1:1 to help them evolve into the most full, joyful versions of themselves. And this dream has stayed with me through the years, stayed with me as I moved through many different “official” career titles, over changing locations, and relationships.
I gravitated towards books, podcasts, and social media that all touched on helping us understand ourselves better and evolve more peacefully.
In my free time, I caught myself thinking and dreaming and taking notes on how my life lessons and experiences might be able to help others.
Helping women evolve is a core seed of mine - it’s an inevitable path for me.
Your turn - Questions to help you find a sense of inevitability:
In my free time, what topics or passions do I explore? What are the topics I’m never bored of?
If I could do or be ANYTHING in this world, what would it be? Why?
What’s a passion I’ve had for a long period of time? What activity energizes me?
Make a list of 10 people’s jobs you would have. What drew you to each job? What do they have in common?
Part 2: And what feels a little scary?
Fear is valuable information. It shows you where you feel vulnerable, where you might feel a deep sense of risk, or where you are afraid of loss.
Pairing a dream you have with the question ‘what feels scary’ is a beacon of light showing you where you should pay attention and where your boundaries are.
In this case, I am not asking you to go for the thing that scares the sh*t out of you or crosses major boundaries within yourself.
Instead, I’m asking you to identify the type of fear that asks you to grow. The type of fear that nudges you to expand past your current definition of yourself.
Fear points us to our vulnerabilities, to our soft spots, but these soft spots are oftentimes our kernels of greatness, the root of our deepest offerings to the world.
So yes, announcing to the world that I was a coach scared me.
It scared me because I deeply cared about this space. I knew I’d be opening myself up to possible rejection or judgment.
I’d be faced with feeling “cringe” and people possibly changing their idea of me in a negative way.
The idea of claiming my right to take up space and say that I am expert enough to help women felt vulnerable.
But this fear also was showing me how I wanted to grow. It was nudging me towards where I wanted to step more fully into my authentic self and values. It was asking me to risk something that mattered to me.
And I ask you to explore what feels scary because that means you’re risking something that will take you deeper into yourself.
Your turn - Questions to help you identify the right level of “scary”:
What feels vulnerable to share with others because it feels like a piece of me?
What do I envy that others embrace fully? Whose life do I secretly want, and what makes me feel like I can’t do it too?
What feels like an expansive scary?
If fear didn’t exist, what would I do first?
After you complete these journal prompts, you should be able to identify a goal or vision of something that feels inevitable and good-scary, WAHOO!
And now that you have your scary but inevitable dream, be sure to stay tuned for my newsletter where I’m going to help you translate this scary and inevitable goal into actionable steps that feel actually doable, not unattainable.
WANT TO WORK TOGETHER?
3 & 6 month 1:1 coaching container: Weekly calls and offline Voxer support (a mainly audio note app) to help you go deeper on your hopes, dreams, and uncover the blocks holding you back. Get the application link here.
